Well, would you look at that…
February 5th, 2006
Note: This post has almost nothing to do with martial art movies, so feel free to scroll down or click on your back button or shut down your computer
Many of you (last estimated count: 2) were probably wondering where I’ve been, and why I haven’t complainedblogged about anything for the better part of four months.
Well, there’s a logical explanation for all that: I was abducted by Scientologists aliens Jessica Simpson and caused a riff between her and Nick thus causing Paris Hilton to run over Lindsay Lohan at a club where Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie were throwing a party for Scarlett Johanssen. You can read more about it in my upcoming memoir which has been selected to be on Oprah’s Book Club!
Alright, now that the medication is wearing off, I can finally reveal that life’s been a bit of a roller coaster ride, starting off with a devastating hurricane and ending with picking out color swatches for our new bedroom.
An increased amount of stress at work threatened to blow the roof off the library, and along comes Hurricane Wilma to literally finish the job. I’m now assigned to work on a bookmobile permanently parked in front of the damaged building. Good thing I’m not claustrophobic - bad thing I have motion sickness. The pace is a lot slower now, especially with the satellite-connected laptops we now use to check-in and out books. By the time we’re done scanning in a library card, checking the book out, and waiting for the receipt to print - a patron could have easily finished reading at least half of Tolstoy’s War and Peace.
Our days often consist of us looking at patrons trying to open a locked door of an obviously damaged building, with yellow caution tape circling the perimeter, and signs posted all over the windows saying “Closed Due to Hurricane Damage” and a list of nearby libraries.
Here’s a little refgrunt summarizing three months of work:
No, it’s closed. Look up at the roof.
No, we don’t have any Internet access.
ABC and XYZ branch are the two closest locations.
Well, they’re not that far - just a mile and half.
Well, they’re bigger than we are right now.
No, we don’t have any tax forms.
Sorry, we can’t really search for items on the bookmobile. (Various legitimate reasons)
It’ll probably take a year or two before the library is back in service.
No, not a day or two - a year or two.
Yes, the bus is shaking.
Yes, we do get slightly claustrophobic at times.
Yes, we do happen to have a copy of War and Peace.
On the homefront, we’re moving into my mother-in-law’s house. At first it was something I thought was quite dreadful, but now I’m looking forward to it with much anticipation. We’ll see how it goes. A brand new library is also opening up soon nearby, and I’m probably going to sign-up for it. We’ll see how that goes too.
As for the blogs, I’m forwarding icontemplate.com to this address and someday appraising that domain to see if I could get anything decent for it in order to support my DVD addiction.
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